We Don’t Get PMS, We Get Superhero Powers; And Always Brand Tampons Really...
Disclaimer: Guys, I’m talking about lady business. So if you’re squeamish, skip this one. I really don’t understand why women get so pissed off when their boyfriends/husbands/man friends ask them if...
View ArticleMoms on Pinterest: the Silent War of Mom on Mom (and Not in the Fun Porn Way)
Guys, there’s a war brewing. It’s not a bloody one, like across the seas. It’s not a “meaningless PR shoulder-pat for politicians war”, like the one on drugs. It’s worse. Much worse. It’s a silent war...
View ArticleTypos Suck, and I Have a Bulging Disc, Not a Bulging Dick
Just like when Calm-ass Husband tells me about his job, my eyes glaze over when people tell me about their medical problems. I’m an empathy-based listener, so telling me, “I’ve been in the worst pain...
View ArticleThe Vapors, Vintavoyeurism, and the Paula Deen Effect
One of the most popular articles on this site is “Five Things I Learned While Reading Victorian Porn“, which means that you are all vintavoyeurs like me. Vintavoyeur (noun) – those who are fascinated...
View ArticleCracking DaVagina Code: How to Diffuse an Argument With a Woman
Note: I am in no way a professional shrink. I just say the shit that pops into my head. I was really tempted to simply write, “You can’t” and have that be the extent of my article. And probably all the...
View ArticleThe Secret is Out, Us Child-Free Folks Love Hookers, Blow, and Swinging
Today I was reading an article by John Kinnear at the Huff Post, “5 Things Parents Need to Stop Saying to Non-Parents.” I shared it on my Facebook page and noted that I especially liked that it was...
View ArticleFucking Gays
and their always making the rest of us look bad by being over-achievers. Yes, I stereotype, but only in good ways. That’s why I have no problem saying that it seems like black and asian women never...
View ArticleThe Review of My Wedding Photographer I Wasn’t Allowed to Put on Yelp
Calm-ass Husband keeps me honest. Well, he keeps me socially polite, anyways. Most of the time I’m annoyed on the rare occasions that he makes me be nice, but I’m always grateful in retrospect....
View ArticleThe Mrs. Cunt Fungus Saga Continues: How to Stop Your Nosey Neighbors from...
Many of you may remember my neighbor, a lady I affectionately call Mrs. Cunt Fungus. Mrs. Cunt Fungus is the cunt down the street from me who insists on making snide and passive aggressive comments...
View ArticleHow to Be Super Creepy with Your Doctor, Courtesy of Calm-Ass Husband
A lag in writing has been mostly due to my being ill. Like, SICK. Luckily, I’m feeling much better, but as if my body didn’t make it clear enough to me that it’s pissed off, I finished my illness off...
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